My Saving Grace

People come into our lives who will change our path, change our way of thinking, change our purpose for living, and who will make us realize what life is truly meant to be. On October 25, 2001, I met my saving grace, the one person who has changed my life for the better, the one person who has changed my life forever. The birth of my daughter, Gabriella Marie, has opened my eyes to what life really can be, but more importantly, she has shown me what true, undying love really is. She is my vibrant, full blooming white rose in a garden of faded red blossoms.

I will never forget that way I felt the very first time I laid eyes on my beautiful Gabriella. She was petite, only weighing six and a half pounds, with perfect little features, the darkest, most glistening golden brown eyes that I have ever looked into, a full head of dark, golden brown hair, dimples perfectly placed on each side of her face, and the silkiest skin that I have ever touched. There was a glow, an angelic light, beaming from her flawless round face. It was love at first sight. I never wanted to lay her down. Most nights, I held her as she slept, and if I was sleeping, she was nestled right up next to me so I could feel her body against mine, so I could inhale her luscious baby fragrance . I remember lying there watching her sleep and thinking that she was mine; she was the only thing that I had done right in my life. I felt so at peace. This precious baby girl has calmed my weary heart; she has poured the life back into my vanishing spirit; she has put a smile on my face again. I would have never thought that a child could be so empowering to my soul.

Children bring so much to our lives; they touch our lives in ways that are unexplainable until that moment comes. The scariest part of parenthood for me is worrying if I can give her what she needs, physically and emotionally, and being the best parent that I can be. Having Gabriella in my life helped me realize that it was time to grow up; I had someone in my life, and her life meant more to me than my own. Until this moment, my life revolved around me. It is almost as if the pregnancy and realization of what was about to happen to my life did not hit me until I held her tiny little body in my arms for the very first time. Life before Gabriella consisted of anything that I wanted to do or felt like doing, regardless of the consequences or monetary costs involved. If I woke up and did not feel like going to work, I just would not go. If I wanted to go shopping and spend hundreds of dollars on shoes, I would do it and never think twice about it. Once Gabriella was here, my entire outlook changed; my life did a complete summersault and landed back on its feet.

In being a parent, there are many “words of wisdom” and values that I want Gabriella to grow up knowing and to carry with her throughout the rest of her life. The most important of these is to make sure that my daughter knows that she is loved, that there is never a doubt in her mind that I love her and want her in my life. Without being overbearing, demanding, or even pushy, I want her to do her best and always put forth her best effort in everything that she attempts. I want her to always desire to be better than she is, to never be content with anything that she has or is, and go after everything that she wants out of life. Her birth, her presence in my life, has made me want these things, for myself as well as for her. I long for her to be a much better woman and mother than I could ever aspire to be.

I can sit here, close my eyes, and think back through life at all of the individuals that have touched by life in a special way or stand out in my memory; no one will ever compare to what Gabriella has done for my life, what she has brought to my life, or what she means to my heart. There is nothing in the world that compares to being a parent. My life began again with the birth of my precious Gabriella. She is my forever and always.